Last Advice From an Old Turtle

Beweezened and beruffled
Betippled and betrapped
Betrophied and betruffled
Bedazzled and bezapped.

Be stupid but be careful
Befuddle but be kind
Be bold but not too dareful,
Eat pulp, not seed and rind.

Be jocund you're still walkin'
Be grateful you bethink;
Be glad your wife's still talkin',
But be careful when you wink.

And when life's shake is over
Lift high a thankful glass;
Be thankful, yea and sober
Betting not your own sweet ass*.

For should you chance to lose that bet
And the fiend comes to collect,
Your own sweet ass will hound you yet
For loss of self respect.

And then you will be left alone,
Besotten and forlorn,
A turtle without shell or home
With all his laurels shorn.

So be ye watchful, turtles
Lest evil come to pass
And you end up with nothing-
Having wagered your sweet ass.

The  reply, "You bet your sweet ass"
is mandatory when any turtle is asked
if he IS a turtle.

Gene Pinkney, 11/28/04

Copyright 2006 Gene Pinkney
No quotes may be used without attribution